5 Steps to Being the Best You

Overcoming the stress of the job interview

It is so hard to wait! A few days ago, a client talked about an interview that was important to her. She studied information that pertained to the job description, and she really wanted the job. When the interview came around, she felt that everyone had a “good time.” She was told, however, that they were still interviewing, and that they’d get back to her.

She still felt confident but found herself getting junk food to quell her anxiousness. Reviewing the interview, she imagined her body language and began to sink down and feel self disregard.

Did she use her hands too much, or were her eyes darting around? Why didn’t they offer her the job? When she spoke, was she clear or creating information as she went along?

We talked about Being vs Doing. She, my client was being excited, being confident, being herself (hand gestures and all) and through that, she was not nervous or worried. Afterward, when thinking about what she was doing, she became scared that it was too much or not enough. This dilemma is often felt in our society where we are under other’s scrutiny and have to show what we are doing to gain approval.

We discussed being authentic, and honoring the best versions of ourselves, and decided her best self was her best answer.

Here are the 5 easy steps to Being the Best You:

1. Focus on what’s ahead of you and on achieving what you want to achieve. Though a focused intention, we are mindful of what takes us off course. Remember that each action is a learning experience, and that is all. Our perspective and attitude affect everything. It is not the end result that matters (there is always another end). Life is all about the journey of getting there.
2. To overcome adversity, focus on the joyous, helpful, engaging, and uplifting aspects of your situation. Make a list of all of the good things in your life, or all of the good things you have to look forward to – and add a joyful feeling to it. You’ll see that there’s more to be happy about than you may recognize.
3. Accept the inevitable –sometimes things don’t go the way we want them to. Instead of denying the struggle, like it’s not really happening or that you can run away, accept adversity into your life. Become curious about it –“ask it in for tea”, as Jon Kabat-Zenn would say. The more we push away negativity and fear, the stronger it becomes. What we resist, persists.
4. Regroup and take action. Making a gratitude journal reminds you of the choices you have in life. Make a plan to go out and do something that can help you experience self compassion and inner successes. You have to do something different if you want something different to happen.
5. Find creative solutions. Expand your mind. Spending time pursuing creative activities, hanging with successful people, sharing experiences with friends and supporters, or writing up a personal or business plan can often help you look at your own life in a creative new way. Finding something that you’re good at, career wise or not, can help you believe in yourself. To stay focused on overcoming adversity, remember your goals and future vision.

In the end, we talked about being patient. As long as we have patience and honor ourselves for the rest of what we feel, what will be will be.